More Than Moving Boxes: Senior Move Management, Downsizing, and Planning Ahead with Honoring Aging

Dan Drews: In three, two Hello, everyone, and welcome to Aging in Place, the Greater Naperville Area’s family guide.

Dan Drews: Our goal here is to help the sandwich generation, which is middle-aged adults, typically in their 40s or 60s, who are squeezed by the responsibility of simultaneously supporting their aging parents while raising their own children. We want to help parents age gracefully as possible and reduce stress through education and community connection.

Dan Drews: It takes a village, and there are a lot of great resources and ideas that we try to uncover through expert guests in our local area. I am your host, Dan Drews, and with me is my co-host and sponsor, Mr. Brennen Roberts, the owner of Seniors Helping Seniors for the Greater Naperville Area. And we also want to thank one of our other great supporters, the Naperville Area Chamber of Commerce, who is a great [00:01:00] advocate for all businesses that support seniors in the Naperville area.

Dan Drews: Brennen, good to see you again. How’s everything at Seniors Helping Seniors? 

Brennen Roberts: Uh, it’s great. It’s great. So, I mean, this is a topic that’s super interesting for me. You know, we, uh, provide in-home care to help seniors live independently as long as possible, so that can be in the home they grew up in and lived for the last 50 years, or it could be in independent living.

Brennen Roberts: And, you know, we see homes in various states of livability and, you know, we look for, obviously, you know, fall assessments and risks, but, you know, the ability to get to these houses and memories down to more manageable, smaller places is, is, is a huge part of things, and families have a lot of worries on their minds.

Brennen Roberts: So the fact that there’s people out there like yourselves that can help take care of this is great. 

Dan Drews: Well, Brennen, thank you again for all you do and, uh, your, uh, your business, Seniors [00:02:00] Helping Seniors in the Naperville area. It’s fantastic stuff. And folks, we are joined today to help us with this topic and focus our show today on how to prepare your parents and yourself for the critical steps involved with seniors transitioning to a new home and some legacy planning.

Dan Drews: And joining us here today is Tammy Bilek. She is a certified senior move manager and the owner of Honoring Aging. Since 2005, she’s helped hundreds of seniors and families navigate life transitions with care, expertise, and a passion for making new spaces feel like home. And with her is Mr. Michael Bilek.

Dan Drews: He is co-owner of Honoring Aging and serves as both a move manager and an after loss professional. With a background in sales and client services, Michael brings calm leadership and practical support to every transition, whether managing a move or guiding families through the [00:03:00] next steps after a loss.

Dan Drews: Thank you so much for both of you being here. We appreciate it. Uh, tell us a little bit about Honoring Aging and how you even got into this business, a business I didn’t even know existed until- Mm-hmm … I met 

Tammy Bilek: your company. Yeah, we hear that often. So, um, our business has been in existence for 22 years. Um, I’ve had the privilege to work with it and for it, and now own it, for 21 years.

Tammy Bilek: I was an employee first for 13 years, and then Michael and I purchased the company, um, eight years ago. So we have helped seniors downsize and relocate, and it’s ve- First of all, gratifying, right? The way that they treat us, and just helping them th- navigate through this very stressful part of their life has been, you know, just a blessing to myself.

Tammy Bilek: Um, I can’t see myself working or retiring anywhere else. So, um, just kinda like big bird’s-eye picture of like what we do and what that looks like. Um, so I was one of the [00:04:00] first four employees of Honoring Aging. Um, and now we have 30 employees. We’re based out of St. Charles, and we work all over Chicagoland helping families and individuals downsize, relocate to whether it’s moving from home to home, or it’s moving from inde- so their current home into independent living or even assisted living or memory care.

Tammy Bilek: And then also it can include that we’re putting an estate to rest. So once they move and get settled, what are we doing with the leftovers? So we’re helping and guiding them through that entire process. Almost think of it as, um, the wedding planner of the moving industry. So all of the little details someone has to manage.

Tammy Bilek: So that is where we come in and, and help those seniors and families take care of all of the details. So last year we helped 420 individuals- Wow … um, with their process, so. 

Dan Drews: That’s great. Well, the wedding planner analogy really hits home for me with a, a [00:05:00] son getting ready to get married and all the moving parts.

Dan Drews: I can imagine that part of advisement and guidance has got to be just absolutely invaluable for these families too, so. 

Tammy Bilek: Absolutely. 

Brennen Roberts: I, I imagine there’s… I think we were talking about it earlier, there’s a lot of chaos that goes on, and sounds like you as the move management can help shield families- Yeah

Brennen Roberts: from that chaos. So. 

Tammy Bilek: Also, the chaos coordinator we’ve been called. Yeah. The, the blue angels as we wear blue shirts. You know, different things. So yeah, absolutely. And we just want to be a resource for, you know, whether it’s the family member or the individual moving or even, you know, someone like yourself Brennen- Mm-hmm

Tammy Bilek: like, “Okay, I think it’s, it’s time for this person to…” You know, who’s going to help them if they don’t have local family to come in and help with that service? 

Dan Drews: Yeah. You know? Yeah. Michael, I’ve got a question for you. Mm-hmm. One of the things I, I read in your bio there was, uh, after loss professional. K- what, what does that mean, or what does that encompass as being an after loss professional?

Michael Bilek: Yeah, that’s a great question. So an after lo- [00:06:00] oss- after loss professional, really we’ve got two aspects to it. One of them is legacy planning. Let’s get our stuff together in order for our kids when that time does come so that it’s easier for our children and our loved ones to handle our estate, right? Um, it takes an average of, or at least a, a minimum of 500 to 570 hours to actually put an estate to rest- 

Dan Drews: Wow

Michael Bilek: over 18 months. So the idea is, let’s get things planned ahead of time and take that burden off of our kids and our loved ones. Then there’s a second part of it. Um, when we do… when someone does pass away is, is helping that executor or helping that trustee, um, through, walk through the process. Literally could be hand-holding, doing proxy work, going to the bank, going to the attorneys with them, and making sure things are settled and handled in the proper way.

Michael Bilek: We are not attorneys, we’re not accountants, we’re not financial advisors, but like we’re the wedding planner for the move, I’m kind of like the wedding planner for that after loss, right? Make sure all the resources are pulled together for that person and that everything is, is put together. That way the person [00:07:00] or the family can focus on grieving their loved one, which is really where their process needs to be.

Michael Bilek: They don’t have to worry about the details. Was the insurance contacted? Have the paperwork been sent? We take care of all that, making sure that it goes for them. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. I, and I’ve got to imagine that’s gotta be invaluable when your head and your heart is all over the map- Mm-hmm … after you’ve just lost a loved one.

Dan Drews: Yeah. 

Brennen Roberts: But I love the idea of you said planning ahead- Yeah … because, you know, as we have these conversations, you know, we talked about estate planners or financial advisors, and that seems to be the common theme- Right … for anybody of our sandwich generation. It’s like- Yeah … start the conversations early.

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. You know, don’t wait until you’re in a state of chaos or, you know, you’ve lost. So, you know, have those conversations now when your parents are capable of it. 

Dan Drews: And so- Well, sure. Brennen, I know you’ve kind of alluded to the story before, but you could have really used their services, uh, back in the day with your, with your dad’s situation.

Brennen Roberts: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was, I was telling you that I, again, it… I’m one of those… W- what was the number? It was, like, 60% of caregivers- Yeah … live, like, over an [00:08:00] hour. Right. So I was like that for my father- Mm-hmm … and trying to help manage his transitions from home to- Assisted living and nursing home to eventually passing away, and then having to help clear out the home- 

Michael Bilek: Right

Brennen Roberts: uh, from a distance was just extremely difficult. Yeah. And working full time, trying to find the time to do it. And when you actually went to do it, you know, I think, you know, I was telling you my dad had basically one room, his office- Mm … which was whatever, lifetime’s worth of stuff- Yeah … which was meaningful to him, but not really for anybody else.

Brennen Roberts: Right. Yeah. 

Tammy Bilek: And 

Brennen Roberts: just having to go into this one room, smaller than the room we’re in right now, it was, you know, a f- at least a day’s work, of work for me. And, uh, I just… Yeah, it was, uh, I’m sure I over-purged, you know, at some point. Yeah. You know, you start off with the good intentions, but then afterwards you’re like, “Okay, just gonna swoop these papers in.”

Brennen Roberts: Uh, may- Right … I hopefully I didn’t throw anything out that was needed. 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah … 

Brennen Roberts: but. 

Tammy Bilek: Kinda look at the top and look at the [00:09:00] bottom and like, “Okay, I feel pretty good-

Dan Drews: about the whole stack going.” Right. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and Michael and Tammy, questions for you. Do you, do you get that very often where the kids live in Ohio or Michigan or somewhere far away, and you have to do a lot of the local heavy lifting? Is that one of the dynamics you face very often? 

Michael Bilek: Yeah. Uh- Absolutely

Michael Bilek: re- very, very regularly we handle that. Uh, sometimes it’s even moving a mom or dad or for our parents from out of state. Maybe they’ve, they’ve been in- Ah … in Arizona, but they want to move back closer later in life to their kids. So we’ll actually help coordinate that whole out of state move. But oftentimes families in this generation have separated.

Michael Bilek: Work has taken them to different parts of the country. And so it’s, it’s the families find it a lot more easy on them as well as their parents when they can just have someone like us come in and, and be their pseudo children for- Right … for a, uh, for a period of time to help with that transition. And then even when things don’t go great for that, um- They’re mad at us.

Michael Bilek: We walk away and we’re done. They still get to have great Christmas dinner or [00:10:00] Thanksgiving dinner with their family. They don’t have to worry 

Brennen Roberts: about being the bad person there. Yeah, that’s great. We, we always tell people, I always tell people that if, uh, we want to help take the burden off of families.

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. Absolutely. I say, “I want you guys to remain… Be a son and a daughter first- Yeah … and, uh, not a caregiver.” Right. “So let us take that burden off you, and then you guys focus on being family and, uh, we’re helping in lots of ways.” And 

Tammy Bilek: there’s so many levels to it, right? It isn’t just, okay, we’ve moved mom and dad, they’re settled, everything’s great.

Tammy Bilek: It’s like now about the leftovers of the home. Like, what is happening? Mm-hmm. What’s the, what’s the local resource when they’re living in Texas that they don’t know who, that we should call Restoration Ministries or Chicago Furniture. You know, like, they don’t have those connections. They’re just like, “Okay, I have to empty this house because I need it on the market.

Tammy Bilek: Do I have an estate sale? Do I send things to consignment or do I need a junk ha- … Like, what do I need? And by the way, I have three days.” 

Dan Drews: Mm. 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. Now, uh, Tammy, in those situations, as part of your job, [00:11:00] family referee, right? When you got Janie and Jimmy and Johnny, like, all fighting or disagreeing- Mm … on how things- Yeah

Dan Drews: do you ever have to- Mm-hmm … put on the referee whistle and, and try and navigate that? 

Tammy Bilek: I do. Um, I always remember that- The senior normally is my client, right? So what are their wishes? If, you know, the daughter’s trying to push like, “Oh, we should take this set of furniture or this end table or this TV.” Well, Dad hasn’t turned that TV on in three years, right?

Tammy Bilek: He doesn’t even know how… You know, this is his key zone. We’ll talk more about that. Mm-hmm. And it’s important to replicate, like, how we currently live. Like, you come home, home on the weekend, you know, here and there, and it’s like you’re just seeing a little glimpse of how Dad lives. Mm-hmm. Where we can recognize pretty quickly of, like, you know, this is the key zone with the end table next to the recliner and the dog bed on the left side, right?

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm. So it’s like what does that look like in our new place so we can mirror image how he currently lives. We respect that she [00:12:00] has an opinion, but it’s really, “Dad, how would… How do you see your new space really looking?” And that’s really important to talk directly to them because they’re the ones that are going to live there and love it.

Dan Drews: Yeah. I imagine, yeah, you have to walk gingerly, I’m sure, through some of those conversations, so. Absolutely. Well, Brennen, do you have a picture of my grandma’s place? Okay. This is one of the things, because I also had a situation like this, too. My grandmother passed away after she was 96 years old, and my dad was trying to, uh, find what to do, and her condo sat there for a couple years- Mm

Dan Drews: as we tried to figure out what to do. Yeah. And so I finally had to go down and make multiple trips. And, uh, the one on the right, picture on the right is kind of what I started with, and then the picture on the left is what I ended up clearing all out. And to Brennen’s point- Mm-hmm … plenty of big c- trash bags in there, too.

Dan Drews: Mm-hmm. 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. 

Dan Drews: But I found one of the things, I wonder if you guys could speak to this, is the difficulty, or I guess more of this, the understanding that I had to have for my dad, ’cause it [00:13:00] was his mom, that I had to have some patience to, um, I would probably go through it probably more, uh, expeditiously- Mm-hmm

Dan Drews: where he wanted to tell stories. And I know you guys have alluded to that, that, that it’s careful to … You have to be careful how to deal with the emotional side of this business. 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. I would say 90% of moving is emotional in my opinion. You know? Because every item that you’re giving up, you’re grieving over that.

Dan Drews: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? That was a part of your life for a certain amount of time, and you really have to allow yourself to say, “I have loved it long enough and it’s time to let it go.” 

Dan Drews: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: So you did a great job by the way, but I’ll t- use an example as a dining room table, and sometimes our clients have a really hard time giving up the dining room set, dining room table, China cabinet, buffet, you know, because it’s been a staple in their home for 40, 50, 68 years- Mm-hmm

Tammy Bilek: whatever that looks like. Um, and so I always ask the question first, [00:14:00] “Have you loved it long enough?” Right? That you have to allow yourself permission to let it go, and also visualize the next family member that you’re gonna donate it to- Mm … creating those same memories around that table. But just like if it was a card table for 50 years- Mm-hmm

Tammy Bilek: would we still have those same memories? 

Brennen Roberts: Yes. 

Tammy Bilek: We would. 

Brennen Roberts: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? So it is, we try to take the emotion aro- off of the item- 

Brennen Roberts: Mm-hmm … 

Tammy Bilek: and say, you know, “You still have the memories down deep inside or even pictures of those memories. So the item we can let go,” but again, it’s giving yourself permission. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. I think, I think that part, it took me, it took me probably a half a day to really tune into that- 

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm

Dan Drews: on how important it was when my dad was moving slowly through it, that it was bringing back all these flood of memories and everything that went with it, too. 

Tammy Bilek: Absolutely. 

Dan Drews: Uh, uh, in conjunction with my project that I had here, too- … I, I found it interesting, you told me you have, like, [00:15:00] 30 pages of vendors you deal with in all sorts of areas and stuff, too.

Dan Drews: Like, we had to call two guys in a junk truck, who were amazing by the way at, at the way they Tetris things, but your list of contacts has gotta be immense for whatever it is you’re gonna walk into. 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. Absolutely. The moment that when I started about … This was happened about 20-ish years ago, when I didn’t have a resour- source for someone- Mm-hmm

Tammy Bilek: it was like, “Oh my goodness, why don’t I have an answer for them?” So that’s when we started, Amy and I started our resource list to make sure that if you have some … You know, like, you walk into a home and it’s like, “I really want my art appraised,” great. We have someone that will come in appraise just art.

Tammy Bilek: Don’t ask about the China, this is what they specialize in. Mm-hmm. Or to come out and let you know how much your silver, you know, can be bought for. And also, like, I have a garage full of styrofoam, how do I recycle that? Okay. Real question 

Dan Drews: Unusual [00:16:00] request, yeah 

Tammy Bilek: Right? But a real- But a real thing. Yeah. Okay.

Tammy Bilek: Wow Absolutely. He was in one of my presentations that I gave, and he goes, “I’ve just been saving it ’cause I know I shouldn’t throw it away.” Mm. So I found him, I just need where you live, a great resource to make sure that, that he can do that in the right way. Again, he wants to honor- 

Michael Bilek: Mm-hmm … 

Tammy Bilek: you know, and recycle exactly what he is- has, um, has in their home, whatever that looks like.

Tammy Bilek: So it is also about, we work all over Chicagoland, so we want to have the right resource in their neck of the woods. Yeah. So if that’s in Evanston, if it’s here in Naperville, La Grange, Rockford, wherever that is, so that’s why it’s 30 pages. 

Dan Drews: Mm. Man, it’s… And it is interesting what people hold onto. Mm-hmm.

Dan Drews: Whether it’s collector plates or styrofoam, or you mentioned a professor that kept old, like, tests and- Tests … and, and homework assignments. Mm-hmm. It’s important to them for a reason. 

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm. 

Dan Drews: And you have to then navigate that reason, whatever it is. 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. 

Tammy Bilek: First of all, let them tell the story one more time.

Dan Drews: [00:17:00] Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? And sometimes by allowing them to tell the story makes it easier for them to part with that item. 

Dan Drews: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: So whether it’s shredding the homework, right, that she assigned years ago, and yep, it’s time to shred it and let that go, or whether it’s the dog’s teeth that she kept for years and years-

Tammy Bilek: because it’s a, a, a memory. She loved that dog. But let’s just keep the picture of it and not the teeth of that dog. Mm-hmm. Or is it something that once the family hears the story, maybe this is something that they didn’t think that they wanted, but now that the story has, you know, brought really joy to them, that they should keep and pass on.

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. Yeah. I find that all the time with like- Relative stuff from my wife’s family, I might not know it, and like, “What are we doing with this old country club ice bucket?” You know, it’s kind of thing. You’re like, “Oh, oh, my grandmother won the ladies championship one year- Oh, fancy … and that was the prize.”

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. And stuff like, oh, that’s… You know, you look at it totally differently. Right. It used to be this kind of [00:18:00] gaudy looking thing. Be like, “Oh, okay.” Yeah. That’s I, I… Now I, now I understand. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. Yeah. I’m amazed by how much of your job is part psychology. And Brenda, if you take me to the next slide here too.

Dan Drews: Oh, oh, oh, we’re gonna, we’re gonna take a look at this topic right here. Yeah. We’ll come back to those pictures a little bit too, ’cause you guys- Yeah … have done some amazing work. But transfer trauma. Mm-hmm. Tell me a little bit about that and kind of what- Right … you know, what that is. 

Tammy Bilek: So transfer trauma or s- um, relocation stress syndrome, so either title means the same thing.

Tammy Bilek: So there is definitely a, a great, you know, definition behind it, but it’s also for me, like seeing it every day is like you’re kind of frozen in your stuff. 

Brennen Roberts: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? And it’s like I can visualize myself living at Sunrise of Naperville. I think that is a great community. I can, you know, visualize myself going to dinner, but I’m stuck here, and I just can’t get there.

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm. Right? Where [00:19:00] we’ll come in and, you know, my first question always to my client is, “How do you feel about moving?” 

Brennen Roberts: Mm. Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: You know? And what are the questions or the things that are keeping you up at night to not be able to get there in 30 days, right? So again, understanding and more importantly listening to…

Tammy Bilek: Just like when we helped my grandma move, she, she told me why she wanted to move, but I needed her whole family to hear that. ‘Cause there was many family members that didn’t want her to leave that chi- childhood home. 

Michael Bilek: Oh. 

Tammy Bilek: So to hear it as a family, “Grandma, why do you want to move?” “I don’t feel safe here anymore.”

Tammy Bilek: Right? Mm-hmm. So I couldn’t say that to the rest of the family. They’d be like, “Oh, you didn’t hear that right from Grandma.” But when it came out of her mouth, then all of a sudden everyone just seems to be on board with it. Mm. Right? So to really understand of like how do we get them, what does their pathway really look like, and how can we just assist them through that?

Dan Drews: Yeah. That’s a [00:20:00] powerful statement right there from Grandma, right? Yeah. “I don’t feel safe.” 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. 

Dan Drews: Mm-hmm. And yeah, nobody’s gonna want that. 

Brennen Roberts: Uh, you… When we were talking earlier, Michael, you were talking about the, I don’t think we as a society initially appreciate how big of a change this can be for people.

Michael Bilek: Yeah. So, you know, it’s, it’s one of the top three for seniors. It’s one of the top three most stressful things they’ll go through. And right next to losing a spouse or losing a child, which both are really difficult things. Yeah. Younger folks like us think, “Oh, we’re just gonna pick up our stuff and move,” but oftentimes we’re moving to a bigger house, right, where we can create more memories and not give stuff up.

Michael Bilek: But we got to remember that this is a life- lifelong treasure that we’re helping folks recognize that they’re giving up. And like Tammy said earlier, it’s like they got to grieve over it, right? Mm-hmm. Um, and, and let them have that grief, just the same as a person would grieve over losing a wife or, or a spouse or a child.

Michael Bilek: Yeah. 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. That’s, uh … When you put it like that, it really hit home for me. You know, it’s like I … You recognize [00:21:00] in many cases people have … You know, it’s not just the home. Right. It’s not the stuff. It’s the neighbors, the neighborhood, their- place they go for breakfast. They’re, like, giving all of that up.

Brennen Roberts: Mm-hmm. And it’s such a… And, and in many cases it’s not because they want to, it’s because they have to- Yeah … or maybe family members are pushing them and stuff like that. So- Mm … that recognition that we need to have of, like, this, not… The significance of this- Yeah … is important. Yeah. 

Michael Bilek: We like to say we aren’t just packing boxes and moving boxes, we’re packing and moving a lifetime.

Michael Bilek: Oof. And that’s really what it is. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. Wow. That’s impactful. 

Michael Bilek: Wow. 

Dan Drews: Well, Brennen, do me a favor. I don’t want to skip over that one before and after because I think this is amazing work. So Michael, to your point you just made, right? You’re, you’re packing a lifetime. Sometime that lifetime’s got a lot of stuff in it I’m sure.

Dan Drews: Mm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Right? So how do you guys go from kind of the before to the after? Like, are… Is there part of your brain that kind of has to erase all the clutter sometimes [00:22:00] you see to kind of understand where you need to get to? Or how does that, how does that work for you when you walk into a client’s house and see what the project entails?

Michael Bilek: I’m gonna let Tami answer that- … because she does a way better job- … at that specific thing than I do. Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: So

Tammy Bilek: going

Tammy Bilek: in and, and sorting… This was one of Amy’s clients that she helped with. And it could be meaning, yes, we’re moving them from this location to that location, but it could also mean that they’re aging in place, where they’ve just become a little messy, right? I’m [00:23:00] very guilty of that as well- Mm … when I don’t have enough time.

Tammy Bilek: And we just need to go in and help that. But if they are moving from A to B, whatever that looks like for them, and, you know, they’re looking at it from this very large bird’s-eye view, where I’m looking at it like, “Let’s talk about the furniture that’s going with us first.” And, and they’ll say, “Well, I w- I was thinking about taking that table.

Tammy Bilek: It’s smaller, and it came from my grandparents. I do have a couple of chairs for it.” And so it’s like, all right, then the kitchen table we’re not… So again, some negotiation- Mm … um, of discussion of items. So we always sel- start with a floor plan, right, for our clients. So that meaning that what’s going to… We measure the furniture for, in their current home, measure their new space, and what’s going to fit into that space.

Tammy Bilek: That floor plan that we present to them will actually start to visualize what their new home is going to look like, and it’s gonna get excited for them. 

Michael Bilek: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: So it’s like, oh, everything that you measured is going to fit in, right? So and [00:24:00] again, we do some coaching through that as- Yeah … we’re walking through the house.

Tammy Bilek: And, and as we start to look in literally every nook and cranny, ’cause we have to have a plan for those items that we’re looking at. So yes, are they going with us? Is, are we donating things? Are we having an estate sale? So lots of different avenues. “Well, I really wanted that bedroom set shipped to my daughter in Wyoming.

Tammy Bilek: Can you do that?” Absolutely, we can arrange that. Mm. So, or I had a recent client, she’s like, “I really want to save that chandelier because it was from my family.” So again, what does that look like? Mm. Again, that’s a small detail, but her mentioning it allows us to make that a part of our plan. 

Michael Bilek: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: So then what we do is we normally pack Two days, a day to two days before move date.

Tammy Bilek: So we’ll come in and pack everything that they’re taking with them, right? So either they have chosen to sort up until that date- Mm-hmm … which is a lot of decision-making. Or we will go in ahead [00:25:00] of time and help them sort through all of the items. So when we pull open the kitchen cabinet and there’s seven pie plates, I’ve never made seven pies all in one day.

Tammy Bilek: But there’s seven. Mm-hmm. Right? So we have to make a decision of are we keeping one, maybe two? Does… Like, I would pick the peach one, she’s gonna pick the metal one because it has family history, right? So we’ll go in and sort with them so we’re ready for pack day, and then they’ll sleep in their home the night of packing, so we’ll leave out essentials for them, and then move day morning, again, familiar faces there with them, making sure, like, did you eat breakfast that morning, where is Bandit’s leash and treats and, you know…

Tammy Bilek: Or do we need corral the cats? You know, whatever that- Mm-hmm … looks like. And then moving truck comes, get it all loaded, head over to the next location and completely unpack them. Wow. So it’s normally a two-day process for us, and that’s hard for them to visualize because they’re just thinking, “Well, I’ve lived in this house for 48 years.

Tammy Bilek: How are you gonna do this in two [00:26:00] days?” Mm-hmm. Because we don’t have a connection to their things. Mm-hmm. We’re just here to, yes, they’re in this space today, and tomorrow they’re in a smaller space, but we’re going to make it feel like home for you. Yeah. Mm-hmm. We do a lot of picture taking- Right … to make sure we recreate how they live.

Dan Drews: A- as you’re going through that sorting process- 

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm … 

Dan Drews: I would imagine you have to have your radar up for how physically and emotionally taxing it is for probably some of these people, too. Absolutely. Like, I remember as I’m going through my grandma’s stuff, like, my dad would get physically tired and almost a little emotionally tired.

Michael Bilek: Mm-hmm. 

Dan Drews: And, uh, so we had to kind of engineer some breaks- Yeah … as we kind of went through it. Not- 

Michael Bilek: Absolutely … 

Dan Drews: and not g- go… Like for me, right, I wanted to go all day, long stretch, and I don’t think that was very feasible for him. 

Tammy Bilek: No. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. 

Tammy Bilek: Um, the biggest thing is hydration. 

Dan Drews: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? Like, first of all, as seniors in general, we…

Tammy Bilek: They don’t, I’m almost in that category- Mm-hmm … we don’t drink enough water- Mm-hmm … to keep ourselves hydrated. So we will make sure while we’re sorting, [00:27:00] they’re sitting in a chair saving energy, right? And they’re l- making decisions. “Yes, I want that. No, I don’t.” 

Brennen Roberts: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Or more importantly, telling a quick story about something.

Tammy Bilek: We can’t tell stories about every item, but- … we want to hear some stories- Yeah … for sure. Um, and then of course stopping, taking a break for lunch if we need to do that. While they’ve made a lot of decisions, we can do some packing through that. But then also it’s three to five hours, right? Mm. And usually more three to four.

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm. Right? And th- that’s when our brain is like I’m done. And it’s important to recognize that and recognize when they, when they need a break as well. Mm. So our team is very in tune to that. Um, and then also too, like, if there is any type of memory issues going on, we had some dementia training from LaVon not too long ago, so our team is also aware of that as well.

Tammy Bilek: And most of the time, even for myself, we’re really pretty good in the morning. 

Brennen Roberts: Mm, mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? Yep. Later in the day, not so great. We 

Brennen Roberts: all run out of steam 

Tammy Bilek: at that 

Brennen Roberts: point. Exactly. So… 

Tammy Bilek: So again, we recognize those things. Mm. So [00:28:00] it’s important to start 9:00, 10:00 o’clock in the morning and get a lot of things done in a short amount of time.

Brennen Roberts: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: You own about 330,000 items in your current home. Oof. Holy cow. So 

Brennen Roberts: that’s a lot of decision-making. That is a lot of decisions. 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. 

Dan Drews: Are, are there ever times where you can feel the, um, the older person’s frustration and have to, like, call a timeout and take- Mm … take a unplanned break just because that anxiety or- Yeah

Dan Drews: emotional part’s getting too high? 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. And it’s okay to stop- 

Dan Drews: Yeah … 

Tammy Bilek: and sit down and say, “What’s really going on?” 

Dan Drews: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Like, because it’s not normally about what we’re doing, it’s about the grief that they’re going through. 

Dan Drews: Mm. Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? So it is that even though it’s a cup or, you know, a, a picture album we haven’t looked at in 50 years, but it’s still each one of those items that we’re saying yes or no to, it’s a grieving process.

Tammy Bilek: And sometimes we just need to stop and say- Okay, let’s just talk about how you’re [00:29:00] feeling. 

Dan Drews: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? Because that is the biggest part of this, is our emotion. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. It’s funny, I look at this. Now, this is maybe not what you’re getting into, but I see a lot of, like, storage- 

Tammy Bilek: Mm … 

Brennen Roberts: for seniors needs to sh- transition in many cases.

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. I walk in, you see people that, like, in this case probably it’s all under counter storage. Yeah. And as you start losing your mobility, you’re not going to be bending over to get it or- Right, 

Tammy Bilek: reaching on the counter … 

Brennen Roberts: I was in a kitchen this morning, and this old lady has this cabinet, it’s way up here.

Brennen Roberts: I’m like, “Well, she can’t even reach that,” you know? Right. Mm-hmm. So she’s not going to climb up a step stool, so- No. 

Tammy Bilek: Everything’s on the 

Brennen Roberts: counter … so, so, so a house might have worked great for her, you know- Yeah … 10 years ago or even five years ago, but that kind of thing doesn’t work now, so- 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah … 

Brennen Roberts: you know, if you are staying in place, sometimes you just need to take a fresh look at how you organize and store- Yeah.

Brennen Roberts: Yeah … things and stuff, so. 

Tammy Bilek: Absolutely. 

Dan Drews: Brennen, let, I want to talk a little bit about, uh, the long distance folks too, right? So we kind of talked about it before, Michael, when, uh, too we’re talking about you got the, the son or the [00:30:00] daughter live in Ohio or Wyoming or wherever too. How, how do you work with these families that are out of state?

Dan Drews: Are we sending pictures or videos? Like, what’s that communication like- Mm … to get mom or dad the moving assistance they need when they can’t come all the way in from Wyoming? How does that work? 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. 

Michael Bilek: The moving assistance part is easy, right? Okay. Because we just handle that with, with, with mom or dad right- Okay

Michael Bilek: here, uh, locally. But yes, we do do FaceTime videos. Uh, we do lots of pictures. We’re actually working with a client right now in Bolingbrook and, and, uh, her daughter, she ended up breaking her pelvis. She moved out to Arizona to be with her daughter. Mm. And so it’s kind of a very similar situation. Um, but we’re helping take lots of pictures.

Michael Bilek: We’re getting things prepared. We use specific companies where we can ship, like, 10, 12 boxes. It doesn’t cost a fortune to be able to do that. But we just understand what it is needs to go where, right? And it’s just a lot of communication. We can’t over communicate, but that’s really what it is. It’s just a lot of communication.

Michael Bilek: Having an understanding what kind of… Sometimes it’s just understanding what [00:31:00] kind of things they’re looking for, and that triggers us to look for a whole lot of different things just because we know what they’re looking for- Mm-hmm … even though they might not have actually said it. But FaceTime video is really important for us.

Michael Bilek: That, that’s been a, a game changer for us in some cases. Uh, we’ll jump on the phone and we’ll just literally walk through someone’s home for an hour, hour and a half on that FaceTime call or even a phone call. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. I can imagine those would be some long walks sometimes- … you know, with, with mu- trying to go through however many items you said that we house- Yeah.

Dan Drews: 330,000. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And so do you- … when you do that, do you have just, like, a, a clipboard and kind of a log of, okay, dishes, check. You know, blankets, check. Like, you, you’re just going through and kind of inventorying items or? 

Tammy Bilek: So yeah, so that’s a great question because I feel like we’re using that a little more often- 

Dan Drews: Uh-huh

Tammy Bilek: right? Because families are scattered, right? Jobs have taken them other places. Um, so I Zoom in the sand and write in the sand, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. It, it really is about that. I’m a very [00:32:00] visual learner- 

Dan Drews: Mm-hmm … 

Tammy Bilek: so we’ll walk through the house and I’ll remember quite a bit. Um, but sometimes it, yes, is about that initial Zoom call, but then it’s like also about as we find things.

Brennen Roberts: Mm-hmm. Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? So they created a list for us, or we’ve located what, what was on the list, but then you’re gonna have questions about things that they didn’t even know existed. Hmm. Right? And you’re like, “Okay, if this was mine, I would probably wanna at least ask about it.” You know, um, like this morning we opened up a cedar chest and there was, I’m gonna say a f- like a family emblem of some kind, right?

Tammy Bilek: Hmm. That they’re like, “Oh, where was that? I didn’t even know it was in there.” Mm-hmm. You know, and, and some of mom’s jewelry as well. So again, it’s about this is the list that they’ve maybe s- we’ve started with. We always call, “This is Plan A.” And then sometimes we find Plan D or F, right? But it is like we are the, maybe the last ones to touch it or see it.

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm. So again, [00:33:00] quick video of like, “We found this, this,” or a quick pictures, “We found all of these things today,” so they get still get to make the final decision on that. Hmm. And then they’ll decide what they want shipped to them. So we will also manage that whole process of shipping things out of state to them, um, whether it’s one picture.

Dan Drews: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? Um, we… I had one recently up in Northbrook that I had five family members and one gentleman wanted one picture. This gentleman, he wanted… He goes, “I put all my stuff in that closet. Can you just ship that to me in California?” Great. We’ll do that. Then we had all of the furniture going to Wisconsin, and then two local cousins, we…

Tammy Bilek: You know, again, it’s really like divide and conquer. Hmm. Right? But someone, again, has to be that planner in the middle to make sure all of that comes together and happens. Hmm. 

Dan Drews: Okay. 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. It probably helps to have a third party- … like you said, not in- Yes … the middle of it versus the oldest sibling being the one that decides it, ’cause that ends up- Yes

Tammy Bilek: it 

Brennen Roberts: never ends up being [00:34:00] fair. Yeah. So I imagine… Have you found any… I’m just curious, like- people, things get packed away. Like, just found other things like that where people had forgotten about or haven’t seen or- Yeah … seen anything, like, valuable, like, “Oh my gosh, I didn’t 

Tammy Bilek: know.” So, like, it’s, so I love the word valuable, right?

Tammy Bilek: But to who is it valuable to? 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. Yeah, 

Tammy Bilek: that’s- Right? Is it the children, the, the client themselves, the auction house? Like, who has the value? Mm. Um, I think the most recent was a, a Nazi helmet. Oh, goodness. Yeah. Um, you know. And again, I know there’s a lot of controversy about that, but that still is part of our history.

Tammy Bilek: Mm. Right? And so it is one of those things that has been obviously passed down through generations, and it was very strategically packed in the closet underneath a lot of things, and that was one of the things that we sent to the family and saying, “This.” 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. “

Tammy Bilek: What, what are we doing with this?”

Tammy Bilek: Because [00:35:00] I’m definitely not taking it to a local- 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. Could be, like, a World War II veteran, you know- Oh, well- … who was- Like, it was a souvenir. Like, I know they- 

Michael Bilek: Well, souvenir, but I think- … 

Brennen Roberts: Rugers or whatever, you know Yeah … 

Michael Bilek: so. And I think what happens is, is, is, is it gets- You know? … buried in the closet, and they don’t tell the family about it.

Michael Bilek: Mm. Because at some point I think they, they, they feel what they were doing was not maybe- in line with who they are. Yeah. And so then they have a little bit of embarrassment with it, so- 

Dan Drews: Yeah … 

Michael Bilek: but I can’t get rid of it. I’ve not grieved it, so it’s gonna- Yeah … go in the closet- Yeah. Yeah … and 

Tammy Bilek: get hidden away.

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah, but he, I mean, I don’t want to say you name it, we’ve found it, but, you know, um, we have found some, you know, like $60,000 wrapped in freezer paper in freezers. Mm-hmm. Holy cow. Right? Like, because that was how… They didn’t trust banks, right? Mm-hmm. Depending on the, the generation. So they saved their money, right?

Tammy Bilek: And that’s one of the reasons and one of the places that they saved it. Mm. Um, also toilet, um, I’m sorry, uh, money in the tank of the toilet. 

Brennen Roberts: Oh, really? 

Tammy Bilek: Right? Mm. [00:36:00] Because it- Who’s gonna look there? 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. Yeah, 

Tammy Bilek: yeah. Put it in- Exactly. Yeah … put it in a Ziploc bag and- Yeah … it’s there forever, right? Yeah. So there is a lot of interesting things when you pull open the drawer and you think it’s like, “Oh, there’s linens in here” and then you start to s- kind of stick your hand and it’s like, “Oh, well who is this?

Tammy Bilek: Oh, well, that was my previous wife,” right? And it’s like, “Oh, okay. Well, what, what are we doing with that?” Yeah. Right? Type of thing. So you just never know until you really kind of dig into it, and I think that what, uh, you know, for me, like keeps me coming back to the client, like even though yes, I’m one of the owners of this company, but I see clients two to three times a week because I love them.

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. Like, I love to hear their story and I love to coach them through this entire process, and I really want them to love life at that- Mm … new community that they’re moving to. Um, the gal that I went and saw today, she had lived in that community 14 years, and now [00:37:00] we have to move her to assisted living, you know?

Tammy Bilek: And I s- and I, I remember her, moving her there. Mm. And she s- I said, “Have you loved it for 14 years?” And she goes- best decision I’ve ever made. Oh, 

Brennen Roberts: that’s great. Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: You know? And so it, it makes me feel good too that we helped her with that process, and now, again, continuum of care retirement community, so she’s allowed to move to assisted living and still c- you know, be involved in a lot of activities and come back down and see her neighbors and all of those different things.

Tammy Bilek: So a lot of joy for myself too. 

Brennen Roberts: That’s awesome. And you probably were like, “Oh, this move is gonna be easy because the last person who helped you out did such a good job.” 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. She’s collected a little bit more- Yeah. … in 14 years, but absolutely, yeah. Sure. She, she’s like, “I remember your speech before. Less is more is better.”

Dan Drews: Well, let’s talk about that a little bit too, right? Because you’ve mentioned the average number of items that people usually have. I think my grandmother had double that- Probably, yeah … you know, right? And so you deal with, and we’ve… I’m sure a lot of our listeners, [00:38:00] too, have watched the show Hoarders- Mm

Dan Drews: and you said that’s kind of a technical term. We’re gonna use the term collectors- Yeah … which I think is really good. 

Michael Bilek: Yeah. 

Dan Drews: My grandmother was definitely a collector. Uh, how do you kind of walk into those, I guess, more extreme situations too? Mm. And if we kind of… If, Brennen, kind of go to this too. Yeah.

Dan Drews: Talk about how, how… If there’s a lot in there- 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah … 

Dan Drews: and you know in your head it’s a lot of stuff that needs to find a garbage bag, how do you walk through those extreme situations? 

Tammy Bilek: Absolutely. So, well, we just did a recent project in Oak Park. Really, for me, like, I love collectors, right? Like, I have people who collect in our own family.

Tammy Bilek: Um, it’s just one of… I don’t know, it’s been always called to me. When Matt Paxton started the show Hoarders, we’ve been trained by him as well through NASM, the National- Really? Hmm … yep, the National Association of Senior and Specialty Move Manag- Managers that we’re a part of. Hmm. Um, he has come in and done several classes for us.

Tammy Bilek: Amazing person. I will give a [00:39:00] quick little shout-out- Yeah … to his book, his… Everyone should read it. Uh, Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff. 

Brennen Roberts: Hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Very… And he has a new show out. Mm-hmm. But I think that, um, again, I have to understand what’s the end goal, right? Because y- you are instantly gonna be overwhelmed with how much stuff is in there.

Brennen Roberts: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? So whether it’s one room or recently four stories. 

Brennen Roberts: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? So it’s like what is, whether it’s from the individual person living in the home or from a family, like, help me… Like, walk me through what’s in your mind of what is the end goal with this, right? So is it, yes, I want to have an estate sale, I want to donate everything we can, I know we’re gonna need junk haulers, but- This list in this room is what I’m looking for.

Brennen Roberts: Hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Okay, great. So it’s really, again, communication. Um, and then when you start, right, sometimes you have to [00:40:00] stop. First of all, it’s extremely overwhelming if you’re not prepared for that. Um, and you’re wearing gloves, and a hat, and a respirator- 

Michael Bilek: Hmm … 

Tammy Bilek: to protect yourself, and long sleeves. Um, or sometimes a suit of some kind- Mm

Tammy Bilek: just depending. And to like, okay, stop. First of all, accept the wins, right? Like, “Oh my gosh, I found something.” Mm. Like, everyone in the whole house should know that you found the safety deposit box key on the dining room table- Mm … that you couldn’t see- Mm … because it was this deep, right? Mm-hmm. So you have to celebrate as you go along, but ideally, if the, the homeowner cannot be there, because it feels like you’re throwing their entire life away- 

Brennen Roberts: Hmm

Tammy Bilek: right? Whether you are donating or having a s- but again, it feels like it’s all gone instantly, right? So again, what’s the end goal so we can be a part of that vision that they have? Sometimes [00:41:00] we have to recreate the vision as we go, where it’s like, “Okay, I’ve decided we’re having this donation come every single day to pick up our donations.”

Tammy Bilek: Well, now we have found layers of mold in the house or infestations- Hmm … in the house. So now it’s like, okay, that option is no longer an option, and now what are we doing? Now we need a new dumpster every day- Hmm … because maybe there’s too much feces in it, and it’s just not donatable. Or the mold or asbestos if we found things in the basement.

Tammy Bilek: And sometimes you don’t know any of that until you start to dive into it. 

Brennen Roberts: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? So it, it is like, as you kind of go through the layers of what that looks like. Um, but most people are not collectors. Um, so to where to start, right? So there’s a list that, um, some of you are seeing on the screen as well.

Tammy Bilek: So it is not starting, like I remember when Michael and I decided to move 19 years [00:42:00] ago. “Well, let’s take on the basement this weekend.” Um, no. No thank you. I love you, but I don’t want to do that. So we’re wo- you know, where I’m like, “I want you to pick a space that’s doable in about 20 minutes so you see your progress so you can keep going.”

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? So again, small areas. Small 

Brennen Roberts: goals. 

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. Small areas. Yeah. Small goals. So, you know, easy spaces. I don’t want you to start with, you know, the, all the family pictures. No. Start with the linen closet. Mm-hmm. Start with the junk drawer. 

Dan Drews: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Start with the Tupperware, you know, cabinet or drawer.

Tammy Bilek: Like start small and it’s like, “Okay, I did that drawer. Let me go onto the next drawer.” Or spices, right? Start there. Again, small little spaces. You’ll see the progress and you’re like, “Okay, I can take on, you know, half of my closet tomorrow.” You know? I’m not a huge fan of like Marie Kondo method, and there’s a bunch of other methods out there.

Tammy Bilek: It’s like, well, let’s do all of the clothing. Well, do you realize how many [00:43:00] pieces of clothing that you own? 

Brennen Roberts: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Mm. That’s a lot, right? But you could break it down and just do one drawer every day in your dresser, and that’s doable. Yeah. Right? And you’ll be done within a week. You know- Yeah … type of thing. So- Small 

Dan Drews: bites.

Tammy Bilek: It’s like 

Dan Drews: how do you eat an elephant? Yeah, small bites. Exactly. How do you eat an elephant? Exactly. Yeah. One bite at a time. One bite at a time, right? Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. 

Tammy Bilek: You know, and if… I always say try to have a friend, right? Or a loved one, you know, ’cause they’ll be honest with you. Be like, “You know, Brennen, really?

Tammy Bilek: You still wearing that shirt.” Like, it’s time to l- you know, let it go. Um, I always say play music, hydrate, and give yourself a pat on the back, and always like have some candy or something sweet just to kinda keep pushing you through the, the day of, of going through those. But again, small, small areas at a time.

Dan Drews: Yeah. I like this. I like this. ‘Cause it could be overwhelming for some. 

Brennen Roberts: Celebrate the wins. I like that. Yeah. 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. Celebrate 

Brennen Roberts: the wins. The, the, the little things will keep you going 

Tammy Bilek: for sure. 

Dan Drews: Absolutely. 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. Bren, let’s talk a little bit too about different tips, I guess, you have for [00:44:00] w- for relocating to a memory or skilled, uh, skilled care facility too, right?

Dan Drews: Like if I’m, if I… Especially if I’m going from my house. Like my mother-in-law right now lives in Lombard, and she wants to be in that house as long as possible. Yeah. And at some point if that transition has to be made from a, a home that you love to a specialized facility, are there particular things you do differently than you would if somebody’s just moving from Lombard to Naperville?

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm. That’s a really great question. Um, same answer I’ve had for a long time. Get them settled- for two weeks and don’t do anything with the house. 

Dan Drews: In the new place, you’re saying? Yes. Yep. Okay. So leave the old house alone- Mm-hmm … and get them settled in the new place. 

Tammy Bilek: Right. 

Dan Drews: Okay. 

Tammy Bilek: We want them to feel settled, right?

Tammy Bilek: We’re not making 15 decisions, we’re just moving. 

Dan Drews: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? We’re moving either to memory care, skilled care, assisted living, [00:45:00] we’re getting settled, and that’s what we’re gonna focus on. 

Dan Drews: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: We’re not deciding on what’s happening with the leftovers. Now I can’t drive anymore, what are we doing with the car?

Tammy Bilek: All of those things that they’re thinking, it’s like, no, we want our focus to be here. 

Brennen Roberts: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: And we want to enjoy it, and we want to s- go and see them every day and making sure that they’re acclimated to their new space, whatever that looks like. And then things that are left in the h- home, right? It’s like, oh, we have space for that.

Tammy Bilek: Why don’t we bring that little piece over? Hmm. Mom would like that. Or all of a sudden in a week after she’s moved in and she’s like, “Where’s my painting above the bed? I’ve always had a painting above the bed.” Mm-hmm. Great. It’s still here. Nothing has happened to it. Grab that. Again, we want to feel the space so they can transition better there.

Dan Drews: Like, that eases the anxiety of the whole thing- Yes … I would imagine. Yeah. Yeah. 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. I like your idea, you said zones. Mm-hmm. Like, identify kind of like, so you’re thinking about like, when you say that it’s like, here’s [00:46:00] their, like, comfort zones within the house- Yeah … or here’s, like, the most important places, and then how do we do as close to replicating those- Right

Brennen Roberts: as possible. 

Tammy Bilek: And if you start to think about even the four- Yeah … of us here, right? Like, where do we spend the most time, right? So is it a recliner in the living room, right? Or is it on the sofa? 

Brennen Roberts: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: Or is it, you know, my nightstand that has my CPAP and my eye drops- Mm-hmm … and whatever that looks like, right?

Tammy Bilek: So it’s like we want those spaces in particularly to look very much the same- Mm … at the next location. 

Brennen Roberts: A- and that means like- Using some of the same furniture- Absolutely … kind of configured the same. Mm-hmm. Little knickknacks and stuff- Yeah … that’ll just bring back those memories and stuff. Right. So. 

Tammy Bilek: And we will even ask them, you know, “Do you sleep on…”

Tammy Bilek: You know, usually we can tell, but, “Do you sleep on the right side or the left side?” And they’re like, “Oh, well why does that matter?” And I’m like, “Well, in your next place your bathroom is here, and in this home your bathroom’s over here.” 

Brennen Roberts: Hmm. “

Tammy Bilek: So does that mean that we need [00:47:00] to- 

Brennen Roberts: Put the bed on- 

Tammy Bilek: Exactly … mm-hmm … put the bed on, on the east wall- Yeah

Tammy Bilek: instead of the west wall type of thing, and so that you’re closer to the bathroom there?” Mm-hmm. If that matters. Someone will say, “Well, I have to lay on my left side because of my heart condition.” 

Dan Drews: Oh. 

Dan Drews: Let’s take a look a l- uh, just a couple other before and after pictures, right?

Dan Drews: And if you guys could kind of speak to this a little bit, like how do you, how do you go in with like h- you know, a game plan, I guess, to make sure the after is what you trying to get to, you know? Yeah. Get to the right target, to your earlier point. 

Tammy Bilek: Absolutely, right. So this is a before and after that we moved someone into in King Brevard House in Burr Ridge.

Tammy Bilek: And so we go in and measure their space ahead of time so we know, you know, how much space, like how… This particular client wanted a new dining room table, and new sofa, and lovese- and a chair. So it’s like we’re telling them months in advance what size pur- to purchase, right? And to have it either, [00:48:00] yes, delivered to our warehouse or delivered to the cottage once it’s, um, completed.

Tammy Bilek: But we start with that floor plan. That’s like, again, that to visualize what our new home is going to look like. Are we buying something new? Are we creating, you know, something, or like kind of mixing and matching what is in our current home? That’s what most of our clients do. And again, are we taking the right amount of things- 

Dan Drews: Mm-hmm

Tammy Bilek: that we’re not turning our new home into a furniture store- 

Dan Drews: Yeah … 

Tammy Bilek: um, if that’s not the way that we currently live. So 

Dan Drews: that- And, and probably being thoughtful of tripping hazards- Oh, yes … and all things like that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Okay. 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. 

Tammy Bilek: Absolutely. Yeah, if we’re moving to assisted living, we’re not recommending bringing any types of rugs.

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm. You know, and they’re like, “Oh, I’ll get the rug tape, and it’ll be okay.” And it’s like- 

Brennen Roberts: It’ll come loose … 

Tammy Bilek: I don’t want that on my watch, right? If you decide- It’ll come… Yeah … to bring the rug later, okay. Yeah. Um, but yeah, so those types of things. And, um- To make sure that their new home is going to, again, visual- help them to visualize, yes, it’s, this is the way- Yeah

Tammy Bilek: that I want it to look [00:49:00] when we’re all done at the end of the day. Not all of them look like this. 

Brennen Roberts: That- that’s probably what they put in their brochures. Yes. 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. 

Brennen Roberts: Absolutely. ‘Cause it looks fantastic. But- All it’s missing is the, uh, 40-year-old TV s- on the floor- Right … in the corner, right? Yeah. That’s over here.

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. 

Tammy Bilek: Yeah, but, and even like to make sure that, like this, they didn’t have their TV hung yet, but that was on the docket for the next day, to have that hung over the fireplace. Again, do we have that at home? Is that the right space for it? Should we be putting that onto a stand? Again, scheduling the maintenance department to come in and hang that TV.

Tammy Bilek: Mm-hmm. So all of those details we want to make happen in a very short amount of time. 

Dan Drews: Well, that looks fantastic. I want to take to, we’ll go to the next picture now. This looks like one of your more challenging projects- … right here. And if I walked in, yeah, I’d start to have heart palpitations- … a little bit.

Dan Drews: Like, how do you go into this situation- 

Tammy Bilek: Mm … 

Dan Drews: and see what the after needs to look like? Like, I mean, there’s a special part of your brain that has to be able [00:50:00] to process all this. 

Tammy Bilek: Right. So this is Cl- Michael’s client. 

Michael Bilek: Yeah. So, uh, this, we- we- we spoke about this in Oak Park earlier, right? This is the one where- where we found the safe deposit box key- Oh

Michael Bilek: on the dining table. So the dining table wasn’t in this picture, but the, there was more stuff in the room with the dining room, right? 

Dan Drews: Mm. 

Michael Bilek: Very tough. When I walked into this house, I could barely get up the stairs. I mean, it was bare- I mean, I had to hold on to stuff to, in order so I didn’t fall. Um, but really it’s just about understanding what the client needs- 

Dan Drews: Mm

Michael Bilek: and the why behind it. Tammy alluded to that. This particular client, uh, she was starting to have some memory issues. They- their family needed to sell the house so that she could go to a place, go to a facility where she could have the support she needed. Mm. Um, and so that was why there was a need for this.

Michael Bilek: Um, so it’s- it’s- it was really tough. When I walked in, I’ll be honest, I was overwhelmed, right? Um, we try to understand and- and visualize what the why is as to how we got here. So we didn’t necessarily have a lot of time with the client to understand that [00:51:00] why, but the picture started to unfold for us, right?

Michael Bilek: Mm-hmm. And then we just start to understand what she needed, what was important to her, what we could still salvage out of here. Right. And that’s why in this picture, while it looks like a pile of stuff, to us- Mm-hmm … to this, this is the treasures that she was looking for that we were able to salvage out of- out of this, right?

Michael Bilek: Mm-hmm. And- and I- I know it’s not a lot, but it’s way better than what it was, right? 

Brennen Roberts: I bet you a lot of that stuff she- Probably hadn’t seen or found for a long time, and it’s probably, like you said, probably is a little bit of a celebration- Yeah … finding these- 

Michael Bilek: A little bit of a celebration … treasures. But you’d be s- Yeah

Michael Bilek: you’d, you’d, you’d be, it’d be surprising. So some people, so she even still had a sharp memory. She, like, again, she knew the safe deposit box key was in the dining room. 

Dan Drews: Hmm. 

Michael Bilek: She knew there was money in certain areas. Hmm. And she told us, “This is where you’re going to find it. I don’t know where in there it is, but it’s there.

Michael Bilek: I know it’s there.” So sh- Hmm … so even though she was experiencing a little bit of dementia, she was still pretty sharp to remember the stuff where [00:52:00] she had placed it and put it there before. 

Dan Drews: Hmm. 

Michael Bilek: So that w- that was helpful for us, right? To find the stuff that, that was important for her. Um, but man, it was, this, this was a tough job.

Michael Bilek: This job took us a week and, uh, we had, what, three people, three of us working on it. Mm-hmm. Um, and, and this was one, unfortunately, where we found some of the mold and some of the other issues, where we just weren’t as able to save as much as we were really hoping to. Yeah. Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: I will say that this brings me actually joy, right?

Tammy Bilek: Because being able to go through the house, find what they want to keep, and her to be very successful at her memory care community, like, I think that that is success. 

Brennen Roberts: Yeah. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? For this particular… We did, Katie and I were working on this particular living room, and I remember co- coming across a picture, and I remember just talking about celebrating the wins- Mm-hmm

Tammy Bilek: right? So it was a framed picture, and it was our client on the floor of this living room with their son in the picture, and their daughter- Yeah … standing in the background. [00:53:00] beautiful living room. 

Michael Bilek: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? Like, you could just… It was almost like I could see myself in the picture. So I took that picture, and of course I showed it to Katie.

Tammy Bilek: And I’m like, “We’re standing here in this living room,” and we put it on the mantel. So it helped the two of us to t- find that space again. 

Brennen Roberts: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? Even though, because it does get mentally taxing when you’re going through all of these different things. But to, you know, find that… A- and it was like, for me like, I’m like, “Okay, God, I’m really struggling with this.

Tammy Bilek: I need something,” right? And boom, I move something, found this picture. The glass was cracked, but I could s- you know, I’m like, “Oh, this is the living room- Mm … that I’m standing in.” 

Michael Bilek: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: And so we put that up on the mantel and it, it was like, became like our goal, right? Like, we gotta get there today. We gotta get to that picture today, right?

Tammy Bilek: Like, to make it look like that again, um, i- in a very short amount of time. 

Dan Drews: And- Well, I think that’s a- e- one of the things you talked about is, like, h- helping the person move on, [00:54:00] right? Life is about chapters. You have different chapters in your life. And it seems to me like this person was stuck in a chapter and couldn’t go to the next one- Mm-hmm

Dan Drews: until you guys were able to help them out. 

Michael Bilek: Mm-hmm. And, and, and in this case it wasn’t just the, the, the, the mom, it was the kids were stuck in that ch- chapter- Mm … with Mom. 

Tammy Bilek: Right. 

Michael Bilek: Um, and I think that was one of the other things that really helped us through this job, is knowing what we were doing for those children, right?

Michael Bilek: And, and really unfortunately for Tammy, ’cause she got the brunt of it at the end- … of the job with the, with the walkthrough with the client. Mm-hmm. Bless her heart. But I think at the end of the day, that family’s still together because we were able to go in and do this, right? Mm. Yeah. I think if the family had done this, um, to, to their mom, that, that there would be a lot of brokenness there and a lot of really hard feelings that would be really difficult to overcome.

Dan Drews: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Gosh. Yeah. Yeah. 

Brennen Roberts: Absolutely. 

Dan Drews: Uh, you guys have been a wealth of knowledge in our conversation today. What other, any other nuggets or, uh, anecdotes that you think that either the [00:55:00] seniors or the children of seniors really need to know about as they kind of move through this phase of life where they have to maybe move and, uh, and transition to either a smaller place or, um, some sort of medically assisted facility and stuff?

Dan Drews: Yeah. Any adv- any other advice or something we haven’t touched on today? 

Tammy Bilek: client told me this, that we’ve moved him now three times. 

Dan Drews: Oh. 

Tammy Bilek: Um, that every person should move when they don’t have to move. 

Brennen Roberts: Mm. Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: So- 

Brennen Roberts: That is wise advice. 

Tammy Bilek: Exactly, yeah. So we’re not waiting for crisis to happen or, you know, like all of a sudden we’re like, “Oh my goodness, we’re paying for the lawn care, the snow, the lawn…

Tammy Bilek: You know, like someone’s in coming to help my laun- to get the laundry done. Someone’s helping in to clean,” right? So it’s like, “Oh my goodness, I’m paying for all of those things just to live under this roof.” 

Brennen Roberts: Mm. 

Tammy Bilek: Right? So to really step back from your [00:56:00] own life, like Michael and I even talk about this, right?

Tammy Bilek: I’m still in my 40s, but it’s like, what is… Do we need this house any longer, right? Our children now are older, so it’s like let’s step back and like what areas do we use in this house? Does it make sense for us to sell this house, right? Even us as younger folks, right? And should we be moving, right, to a ranch home?

Tammy Bilek: So we don’t have to do that, but does it make sense, right? So almost to take all the emotional out of it, just for a moment, and to ask yourself, and, and get your family involved with your conversation about, “I’m, I went and looked at three retirement communities today. I don’t think that I’m gonna move tomorrow, but I’m trying to plan for my future.”

Brennen Roberts: Mm-hmm. 

Tammy Bilek: You know? And so by moving and downsizing, whether it’s just to a smaller house, condo, town home, or moving to retirement senior living, [00:57:00] it’s… This is a huge gift to your family. Mm. Mm. Like just like can’t put a price tag on that, that you’ve made all of the decisions that you want to make. Um, again, that’s the planning process that Michael talked a little bit about, the after loss services.

Tammy Bilek: Yeah. Do you want to talk a little bit more about that? 

Michael Bilek: Yeah, d- the, you know, with after loss services- Mm … just give a gift to your family. Mm-hmm. Have those things prepared. Have it defined how you want your body handled. What do you want the funeral service to look like? Write that stuff down. Let, that allows your family to be at peace with what’s go- what’s happened to you recently, but also, uh, to move through that process.

Michael Bilek: I’d also say for, for those who are aging in place, right, because there are a lot of people who stay at home. We don’t call it downsizing, we call it right-sizing, right? Mm. You’re not downsizing. You’re not moving to a thing, but also right-size. Right-size for your current lifestyle, right? Like Tami was alluding to, we, that we, we, we’re not empty nesters, but we will be there soon and, and, and right-size our current space.

Michael Bilek: Do your family a favor, don’t- Don’t leave it for your kids as a gift because [00:58:00] really, mom and dad, it’s not a gift to me when I have to deal with it. Because now I’m trying to understand what would you have wanted- Mm-hmm … or what do you want, and that really can create a lot of conflict. So do us all a favor and do it while you can.

Dan Drews: Yeah. Well, and Tammy, to your point too, I think the kids would appreciate hearing the s- if the thing is important, tell me the story behind the thing. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Well, Brennen, let’s, uh, talk about… first of all, Tammy and Michael, thank you again so much- Yeah … for joining us today.

Dan Drews: Oh, thank you for having us. Yeah, thank you. If, if people need to get ahold of you, what’s the best way to seek your assistance? Yeah. So 

Tammy Bilek: honoringaging.com. You can absolutely email me directly at info@honoringaging.com. You can call the office and talk with Valerie at 630-524-9282. Um, but that’s the easiest place to get ahold of us.

Dan Drews: Well, thank you again for your time and your, your loving, giving nature in the way that you approach this business, right? Because that, that certainly comes through in the way [00:59:00] you talk about the way you deal with clients and, uh, I know we really appreciate it too. And Brennen, you’re at the heart of this too, as far as finding ways to equip seniors to enjoy their later years as well.

Dan Drews: Yeah. 

Brennen Roberts: And helping the families around. 

Tammy Bilek: So. 

Dan Drews: Yeah. Yeah. 

Tammy Bilek: Absolutely. 

Dan Drews: Well, we’re always trying to find ways to help seniors age in place. Brennen, thank you for sponsoring this program too, and Seniors Helping Seniors. We appreciate that, and being a part of the Naperville Area Family Guide. We look forward to you all joining us next time when we have another well-educated guest, uh, on with us, uh, and we talk about more topics.

Dan Drews: You can also check us out on Facebook, on our YouTube page at Seniors Helping Seniors Greater Naperville. Until then, folks, remember, it takes a village, so play your part in the village. Thank you for joining us, and we’ll see you next time. And so- Thank you … well, now we’ll turn and talk. Talk like birds.

Dan Drews: Chat here, yeah. Talk like birds. Yeah. For another five or 10 seconds. But you guys did fantastic. Oh, thank you.